Conundrum and Love
by Novalia1001
Summary: After bonding over mutual loss, Raven and Beast Boy form a friendship against the test of time, love, and the bad guys.


Raven's latest satire not only went over Beast Boy's head but also that of Starfire. Robin was patient with them all but was too distracted with his buzzing thoughts to find her latest jab amusing. Cyborg, on the other hand, was shaking with laughter at the sink. He kept his back turned-a subtle preventative of adding to Beast Boy's shame that was slowly sinking in.

He blushed madly and turned from Raven. "Oh yeah," he spat, "well, it's not like I asked her to crush my heart like she didn't even care in the first place!"

The atmosphere grew thick. Starfire was immediately aware of the reference and glanced at Raven. The sorceress looked more surprised than any of them. "Gar," she spoke gently, "I didn't mean..."

"Of course you didn't," Beast Boy spat. Promptly he became a sparrow and darted away from the team and down the Tower's maze-like paths.

Like a rousing mountain top Raven's guilt rumbled low and hot within her. She managed her temper as Dick stared at her resolutely. He opened his mouth to speak. She said, "I know, Robin." And she took strong and lengthy steps towards where Beast Boy had left, cape billowing behind her.

The sink had grown quiet of running water. Starfire, seated on the countertop, looked towards Cyborg as he spoke, "Poor B, Terra really put on number on him more than the rest of us."

"Raven was out of line," Robin replied.

"I don't think she meant it like that."

"She should have known better," Robin said icily. "Beast Boy may strike out with women often enough that we can crack about it, but there's a limit."

Starfire wished to defend Raven, but Raven was in tune with emotions innately. There was very little excuse as to why she would push Beast Boy unless she was honestly seeking to hurt him. It was not a situation easily grasped, but Raven did not converse like others did because of her awareness of others' emotions. To those who knew her, as Robin did, it would appear as though she intentionally manipulated Beast Boy's feelings.

And that, Starfire concluded, was not right.

She decided that it was left to Beast Boy and Raven to repair this upstart. Feeling awkward she left Robin to his thoughts and fell silent beside the petulant Cyborg.

Raven had left with a swish of her cloak and determination in her step but now her feet were still and her cloak protectively wrapped around her as if trying to protect her from the washes of pain, anger, sadness and irrevocable hurt that pounded her through the door. It didn't matter what was between them, so long as the distance between them shortened she could feel his emotions as acutely as though they were her own.

Memories began to rise in accordance to his personal grief, and she had to meditate to keep tears at bay and powers in check.

"Oh Garfield," she thought sadly, "what reason was there for you to fall in love so deeply?"

He was young and impulsive and Terra was pretty, earthy, and for a short time, real and relatable. She understood his reasons, as hormonal as they may be. Her issue was that she did not like them.

The door to Terra's room opened.

"Get out," Garfield snarled from the window.

Raven remained at the door.

He turned and glared at her over his shoulder. "I don't want to deal with you right now, Raven."

"You're going to have to," she answered. She descended the shallow stairs. The doors closed behind her and he looked away.

He said, "I know you didn't like her."

"On the contrary, she was fairly easy to talk to, at times more so than Starfire." She paused, weighing her words before continuing: "_Trust_, was the issue."

"You don't trust anyone."

"I've had to learn," she corrected. "And you should remember that you weren't the only one hurt by her betrayal."

"She was tricked into betraying us!" Beast Boy snarled and whirled at her, "And don't you ever forget it!"

"She made her choice."

"Like you did at the end of the world?"

Raven's sudden pang of hurt was her own. Her brow darkened, but she didn't not look away. Garfield did for her. For a moment, she allowed her emotions to register on her face before resuming control. "I made my choice," she said slowly, "and I facilitated the end of the world."

Beast Boy's right ear twitched. He had his back to her and his stature and his feelings did not change, though they made way for a growing interest.

Raven continued lowly, "Living with the idea that you're able to hurt so many people if you slip up once doesn't make a happy childhood. I saw so many familiar feelings in Terra that I was scared of her as much as I am of myself." She looked inside herself for the best words. "She was important to me too, Gar. And I've never used her name with slander."

"Before today."

"Making a vague reference to someone isn't slander."

"Whatever."

His anger was ebbing, his pain remained, his back was starting to bother him. Annoyance, like yellow sprites, flew through her eyes suddenly. She closed them, where they remained. Seeing others' emotions, a recent attribute to her powers, made for entertainment at times, but they were distracting.

The yellow streams vanished into blue orbs floating stately like wayward polyps. She looked at him. Sadness, resolve, she felt. "Gar?"

"I love her, Rae, I love her now. She's gone, doesn't remember me but...she was...I didn't want to let her go."

He felt her icy cold hand on his shoulder. He was so used to Raven touching him recently that he didn't have to suppress a shiver sometimes. His dark eyes, gorgeous green in the sunlight, locked with hers. He was surprised at how pale the colour of her iris was in this light-he always thought they were some sort of dark purple that matched the shine in her otherwise onyx black hair.

She hugged him. It took a moment, their shared silhouette strange and foreboding in the evening light, but at last his lithe arms raised over her shoulders and his hug was like a capture. He released all of it into her shoulder. The overload shocked Raven, despite that she was expecting it, and she began to cry as well. They stood-and eventually slid to their knees, and were soon lying on the floor in the depth of early night, staring at the artificial starlight of Terra's room and making mock constellations.

"Raven?"

"Hm?" she sounded sleepy.

"I haven't cried like that since I was a kid."

She opened her eyes. When was the last time that she had cried her eyes out? Maybe when she was a child reading in the library when the Monks of Azareth approached her to tell her the fate of the world.

"Me too," she answered, "it's tiring."

He laughed, a throaty laugh that was genuine and sporadic. "Yeah, but I just feel so much lighter."

She felt like shit. But away from the hot cheeks, runny nose, itchy eyes and overall tiredness there was a release that was almost spiritual. She loved it.

"Me too," she mumbled. But Beast Boy was already asleep.


End file.
